Key transits for September 28, 2019:
2:27 P.m. EDT New Moon at 5º Libra opposite Chiron Rx at 3º Aries
Hi, I'm Stephanie, the creator of Heart Blossom, and this is your moon message for today's new moon in Libra, September 28 2019.
Now, the most important thing to know about today's new moon is that the sun and the moon are conjunct as at all new moons, meaning that they are unified together in a single degree of the zodiac. And today's new moon is opposed in a standoff with Chiron, which is all about healing.
Chiron is in early degrees of Aries and is currently retrograde, meaning the energy is turned inward. So there is some inner healing that is happening today. Or at least there's an opportunity if you're willing to be part of that process of healing, healing around relationships.
And in particular, it's all about the connection between your relationship to yourself or yourselves the different parts of you, and how that is connected to your relationship to others...how you value yourself, how you value others, how you value your relationships, and what are your ideals for being in relationship.
Now, I have to be real with you, I have tried to record this video a bunch of different times today, and I'm coming up against my own healing edge around being visible, real, imperfect, and human. And this has really been up for me lately.
Wanting to show up wanting to share what I have to offer, wanting to share my perspective, the messages that I receive. I know that I am here on Earth, in part to be a channel for for higher consciousness and support from other realms.
But also, I'm here to be real and to share about my personal experience in a way that will support others in their own journey and process.
And so I realized just now after spending like an hour on this, that the reason I'm struggling is because I'm still trying to avoid sharing anything that's vulnerable about me,
I'm still trying to get everything all perfect. And nice and you know, just polished and pleasant. And all that, you know, the the ideals of beauty and harmony, like we're floating on a cloud and angels are singing and harps are playing. You know, that can be the kind of ungrounded Libran vision. And there's nothing wrong with wanting things to be nice and beautiful.
But again, we are human, I'm human, I'm here, I make mistakes. I get confused, I do things wrong.
And I know for me, it's been an opportunity to see how my ideas about "how I have to be" about what's okay, what's valuable, what I have to offer that's valuable. I have really rigid ideas about that stuff.
And I was reflecting. And there's a part of me a younger part of me, she feels about like middle school age, you know, like 11, 12. And she is really has this idea that she can't be human, that she needs to be better than human, she needs to be more perfect. She needs to be more giving and loving and beautiful.
I know why she's holding that story, because there was a lot of pressure on me at that age in my family. And also, I experienced a lot of bullying throughout my childhood in my, my young adulthood, even into my 20s
I just was someone who was just kind of different from, at least felt and seemed to be different from the people around me. I felt things very deeply very sensitive, and had different interests.
And yeah, just like felt like this kind of weird person who didn't fit in. And also, like I was super shy and afraid. And people can pick up on that. And a lot of my peers found me to be like, really stand offish, and like they would say stuck up.
I didn't consciously think that I was better than anyone. But now when I look back, I think that I did have this energy of, well, they don't get who I am, and they don't understand me. And you know, I'm not like them. And in a way, I latched on to that, I'm different. And so I'm special.
And I am special. But everyone is special in their own way. Everyone has something to offer that's uniquely theirs.
And it's tough because it's true that for various reasons. Some of them are, you know, very individual, you know, families at specific personal experiences, and then some of them are systemic. Those of us who are who have been socialized as womxn, you know, the archetype of feminine, that's been held up and valued in our society has been one of catering to everyone else, on making sure everyone else is happy. If other people don't like me, that's a problem, that means I'm doing something wrong, that means there's something wrong with me.
If other people are upset or uncomfortable, it's my job to smooth that over. And including, you know, basically like erasing myself and my own experience my own needs and wants and desires and perspective.
and then also, you know, various marginalized identities can subject to us, us to more violent conditioning and, and violence on all levels, you know, emotional, psychological and physical. So queer people, people of color, black people, indigenous people, disabled people with disabilities, people who are not neurotypical, basically, anyone who does not fit this very limited mold of how you're supposed to be. Is has been on the receiving end of violence, and that may still be continuing to one degree or another.
But even if, let's say, you know, you're, you're not actually suffering violence at this current moment, any violence you've suffered in the past most likely has been internalized. And I wonder if you're enacting violence against yourself in any way, got the siren, here, just emphasizing my point.
I did pull a card today from the tarot to help me focus this message. And the card that I pulled was the chariot Now the chariot is typically associated with the sign of cancer. However, what I got about this card today is that again, if you look at this, this person is riding in the chariot, and they're holding the reins. And the cherry is being pulled and propelled forward by the collaborative energies of these two horses, the horses look very different. But they're both moving forward. And by working together, they are moving this chariot forward along the path.
Now, if the horses were to try and go in different directions, one of them wants to stop, the other one is moving, trying to move forward, there's going to be an accident, or the very least they're going to get stuck, they're not going to move along the path.
This is true for us, as individuals, like these horses, are an image of the different parts have you the different parts of me. And so this message is for you, but it's also for me.
Clearly, I need the message.
And so there may be one part of you that's like, Oh, I, I'm fine with being myself or I'm fine with offering my gifts, I want to offer this thing. I bet you have an idea right now something that you want to offer. And then there's another part of you that might be like, ooh, I don't know about that. Is that is that okay? To put that out there, maybe it has a lot of judgments, ideas, fears.
So in other words, there's like, some fragmentation happening here. There's an internal conflict. And this may be informed by experiences, again, that you've had out in the world of what other people how other people have impacted you. But what you have control over, at the very least is how you want to be relationship with yourself. Because again, Libra is all about being in relationship. And I think that the highest ideal of relationship is where there is room for everyone to exist as who they are.
And if there's some conflicting needs and desires here, that there's a way to, to talk about those, there's a way to negotiate and find some, some way that that these can coexist, or perhaps one part is willing to make a concession to another part. In my case today, in order to actually get this video done, I had to stop pushing myself. I had to pause and take a break and do what I wanted to do, which was sing.
And once I did that, then I realized, oh, I've been trying too hard to do this. And this is not what I need to be doing. And what I needed was to check in with the part of me that was scared. The part of me that was like, saying that she's not sure if anyone cares. If I do a video or not, that what I have to say in this video is not enough, it's not good enough. There's something wrong with it, somebody isn't gonna like it, somebody's gonna, you know, unsubscribe, somebody who's gonna have a judgment about me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now,
I could get really annoyed at that part. And I did, until I realized, Oh, yeah, she's just a young part of me. And this is this controlling this kind of criticism that she has, is how she learned how to feel safe. I'm kind of like, again, internalizing that criticism, and almost like, doing it to myself before other people can so at least I can say, Well, you know, I already know. Yeah.
So this is feeling vulnerable to me right now, even as I continue to speak.
But the important thing is, again, moving forward requires the coordinated efforts of all these energies requires all parts of self, to have a seat at the table.
And this is a mirror for the collective. justice does not involve certain people getting to say what is just and what is right, and what shouldn't shouldn't be allowed.
Justice should involve all of us, coming together to agree. How do we want to relate to one another? What is our culture for relating?
And what is our culture around harm that's caused? Well, we're relating, because of course, we're humans, and we make mistakes, even though we think, want to think we're good people. I never hurt anyone. Well, I definitely have hurt people. And I will continue to hurt people. Not necessarily intentionally. But again, I'm human.
So instead of trying to be perfect, and never hurting anyone never doing anything wrong. Because if I do that, I'm never going to do anything, period. And I'm just gonna hide in my room forever. And that's not why I'm here.
So instead, I wonder if we could kind of come up with like, what's our new system? What's our new body of law? Because the legal system, laws that are written down are meant to be like a codification of this culture and the ways that we want to relate, and how we want to take responsibility and how we want to make amends and repair harm that's been caused, repair transgressions, deal with disputes.
And so it's time to get a little more clear on what is your own law for relating to yourself and to others, because, of course, the ways that you're relating to yourself, are not separate from the ways that you relate to others. And so if I can accept two parts of me, it's gonna be really tough for me to accept those parts when I see them and other people. And if I don't believe that I can fully exist as my flawed human self, then it's going to be hard for me to really hold space for other people to show up with those parts.
I think that's about what I've got to say for today. But really, the one thing I just want to add, and this is something that I've really been learning so much, in my I work, my leadership training and facilitation training, and just being in spaces with Andrea Ranae Johnson, may have heard me mentioning her before, she has totally changed my life. And helped me expand my capacity to have really deep, nourishing, sustainable relationships with myself and with others, and in support of the liberation and the justice that I want to see in the world that I want to be part of creating.
And what she teaches is to show up as you are, and that when you do that, like there's actually a lot more available to you. And so I just want to pass that her message along to you, and invite you like, how can you show up as you are today? flaws and all? Is there something that you want to offer even something little, even if you're offering it to one person or even offering it just to yourself? What if you didn't have to wait until you had it all figured out? What if you didn't have to have the perfect idea? And know for sure, this is definitely the right thing? What if you could just try it out and see?
sometimes I can think that something is going to be amazing and great, and just what I needed and just what I want to do, and then when I do it, I'm like, ooh, no, that's not for me. And sometimes I can't find out until I try. Sometimes you can't get to your highest and best contribution without trying out some things that end up not being the right thing.
That's what the balance of Libra has space for-what's over here and what's over here. And the scales may need to do a little calibration, before they come into balance. And also that the balance can always shift depending on the ground that we're standing on. There's so much that shifting and changing in our world on our planet. There's a lot of distressing things going on, there's a lot of injustice and corruption and violence. And if that's personally impacting you, I just want to say--I want to send you love. And I want to say that I send you protection. And I am committed to doing my part in service of justice, and to use more of my power for that.
And if you are safe, if you are enjoying privilege, if you're enjoying abundance in your life, you have access to resources. You should not have to feel ashamed about that, however, are you making the most of what you have access to?
Because if you're not taking action to share whatever it is that you have to share, then you are hoarding, you're hoarding that goodness. So I'm not saying you have to pressure yourself, I'm just saying what's one little thing you can do?
Be willing to take a risk in service of what you believe, in service of the world that we want to create, the world that we want to live in where there is space for everyone to be alive together, to exist in their bodies, and with who they are.
That's all I got for today. So thank you for watching or listening or reading.
And if you are receiving this message, know that you're loved. know that you are supported by so many beings in spirit and by humans around you even if you don't know. I guarantee that there are people who look up to you, people who are inspired by you. There is an impact that you've been making and can continue to make and you may not get to know what that is.
So that's why you really are invited to show up and follow your guidance. Follow your heart to what you're called to share.
Wishing you many many blessings and wonderful relationships with yourself and with others.
If you’d like personal guidance and support to navigate and integrate these energies, I’d love to meet with you for an Akashic Guidance session